Whenever You Remember
by Mosie1213
Summary: My mother is gone...my best friend in the world is dead. So what am I left with? Nothing but my journal as I will be forced to live my hometown and my uncle for a new life in a place called Tree Hill with the father i've never met in my 11 years of life.
1. TUESDAY JUNE 26 2017 10: 25 pm

**a/n: So i just started writing this story and it is going to be a lot different than other stories i've wrriten in that it is told in first person point of view from the points of view of several different characters, one of them being a brand new character who none of you have met before. i should also warn you that this story, from the very beginning, may make you cry...at least that is my intention with this. this was just an idea i've had for many months and i've finally gotten around to putting it into words. Please review after you read this beginning because i really would like to know who and how many like this in order to decide if i should contine. Thanks so much. Enjoy!**

_**TUESDAY, JUNE 26, 2017 10:25 P.M.**_

_Everything changes now…my whole life is going to change and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Mom is gone…my best friend in the entire world is dead. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. How am I supposed to live without her? My eyes are still so heavy and wet from crying. I've been crying for weeks, for months even, but more tonight than any other night. And don't think I've ever cried this much before. How can she be dead? How can she be dead now, when just a few hours ago she was alive and talking to me? I don't understand it at all and I don't think I ever will. Life will never be the same again for me…_

_Chasedy Faith Davis-Scott_

I close my journal and look back at my mom in her bed, now sleeping…forever. She's still so pale, but so pretty. Her dark hair is still silky and shiny. It's always been that way. It's where I get mine from. I want to reach up and touch her hair one last time before they come to take her away, but I'm too afraid. I've never been this close to a dead body before.

"Hey Chase." I hear my name and look up at my uncle, who's standing at the door. He's not really my uncle, not by blood or anything, but he is a really close friend of my mom and me…well I guess just me now.

Uncle Marvin, or Mouth as we like to call him, comes into the room and walks over to me at mom's bedside.

"I think you should try to get some sleep." He says as he kneels next to us.

"I'm not ready to leave her, Uncle Mouth." I reply, looking back at her. "I don't want to leave her."

"I know you don't sweetie." He says, rubbing my back. "I don't either, but we have to say goodbye…we have to let her go. It's what she wants, remember?"

"But she's my mom and my best friend." I'm beginning to cry again. "How can I just let her go? I can just forget about her?"

"You don't have to. She'll always be with you. She'll always be in your heart."

I sigh as I stare at my dead mother and I finally touch her hair, but hesitantly. Then, I lean up closer to her head and kiss her now cold cheek.

"I love you, Mom. I always will. And I'll never forget you…I promise. And I'm not going to let him take your place, no matter what. I promise you that too."

"Come on," Mouth says to me with wet eyes. "They're here. Let's go."

I take his hand when he offers it, pick up my journal, the one mom gave to me, and I walk with Mouth out of the room as mom's nurse, doctor and the funeral director enter to take mom away from me…forever.


	2. WEDNESDAY JUNE 2017 2:00am

**_WENDSDAY JUNE 27TH 20172:00 A.M._**

_ I am waiting for an answer_

_I am waiting for a prayer_

_I am waiting for you to come_

_To bring me to where you are._

_I know I should be sleeping, but I can't. I'm so tired, but my eyes won't stay closed because every time they do close, all I see is her. I'll never stop thinking about her; I'll never stop seeing her. I wonder where she is now and how I'm supposed to live without her. What's life going to be like without her It's going to suck and it's going to be hard, especially being so far away from home, which unfortunately I'm going to be in by this time next week._

_There are services at the funeral home tomorrow and then the funeral service at night. That's how mom wanted it…simple and quick with no lingering tears. But I don't know if and when my tears will ever stop._

_Uncle Mouth says there's going to be a lot of people mom knew there. My grandparents are flying in from California and most of the others are friends of my mom's who live here in New York. Except for her old friends from high school. Mouth says he talked to them and told them about mom. They'll be here too._

_I'm not sure I want to be there to meet all those people tomorrow. I mean, I need to go so I can say goodbye to mom for the last and final time. And I'm sure my grandparents want to see me and make sure I'm okay, but I don't think I can face all the other people. Well, to be completely honest, it's one particular person I know I'm not ready to meet. But I guess that's true for any eleven year old about to meet her father for the first time in her life. More about that later, I think I'm finally ready to sleep so I don't have to think about any of this anymore tonight._

_Chasedy Faith Davis-Scott_

I still can't stop thinking about her as I lay on _her _couch in _her_ apartment. How can Brooke be gone? She was such a good person and friend…she didn't deserve this. We didn't even see it coming…she was so young…too young to get sick…

_It was her birthday…her 30th birthday and Rachel and I had thrown her a party. It was the three of us and some friends of Brooke's from her store. It was a beautiful spring day in April…the last sunny day I can remember since everything happened._

"_Thirty years old and you still know how to party." Rachel said with a smile as she passed another beer to Brooke and me._

_All of us adults were sitting on our back deck, talking and laughing._

"_Yeah, well she did party all through high school." I said also smiling as the others erupted in laughter._

"_Ha, ha…very funny." Brooke said, after a drink from her beer. "I thought you two promised not share stories from our high school years tonight?"_

"_Relax, Brooke…we're just kidding." Rachel said._

"_I know." Brooke chuckled. "Being drunk is fun, especially on your birthday. But I'm starting to get a headache and getting a little dizzy, so I think I need to trade this cold beer for some coffee, Do you guys mind if—"_

"_No, go ahead." I said, standing against the house by the door, with one hand in the pocket of my jeans. "You know where everything is."_

_Brooke stood up from her chair and entered the house straight into the kitchen. The rest of went on talking while we waited for her to return. But she hadn't been inside a minute before we heard the shattering of dishes in the kitchen. And when we all rushed into the kitchen, Brooke was passed out on the floor…_

There's a faint tap on the door and I stand up from the couch and walk over to the door. I turn on the hall light and peek through the hole on the apartment door, though I'm already sure who it is at five o'clock in the morning. I unlock the door to let my wife inside.

"Hi." Rachel says as she hugs me.

I hold her close in our embrace. Her in my arms is the most comforting feeling, especially at such a difficult time as this. We share a quick kiss before I close the door.

"Where's Molly?" I ask as we sit down together on the couch.

"With your parents. She wanted to come and be here for Chase, but I told it her it would be better for her to wait until the funeral today to see her."

"Yeah…you made a good call."

Rachel glances at the hallway and asks, "Speaking of, how is she?"

"Not so good. She's finally asleep, but only for the last couple of hours. She's going to be exhausted when she has to get up in a few more hours."

"Yeah, well today is going to be another difficult day for her. No child should have to go through what she's going through."

"I agree. And no one as young as Brooke should have to go through what Brooke went through."

And again I remember that night when all our lives changed…

"_Who's here for Brooke Davis?" The doctor asked when he stepped into the area where Rachel and I had been waiting so anxiously._

_We both stood up and I said, "We are. Is she okay?"_

_The doctor's eyes moved away from us, like he was looking for someone else to answer to. He looked back and said, "It's very important that I speak to Brooke's relatives. Does she have family here that I may speak with? Parents maybe?"_

"_No, they're in California." I said. "Why can't you just tell us? We came in with her."_

"_I'm afraid Brooke's condition is very serious and any information is restricted to immediate family."_

"_Well, I'm her brother." I said, growing angrier by the minute. "And I don't care if you believe me or not, but the fact is, her parents are miles away and don't give a damn about her and we do and we're standing right here. So please just forget about your damn professional pride and just tell us what happened to her tonight."_

_The doctor just stared at me and for a minute I was sure he was going to walk away and not tell us anything because of the way I spoke to him. But he didn't._

"_We ran some tests and discovered that Brooke has an abnormality in her heart caused by a condition called Dilated Cardiomyopathy."_

"_What is that?" Rachel asked._

"_It's a condition where the heart cavity is enlarged and stretched, which is what's called a cardiac dilation. This makes the heart very weak and it can't pump normally, which sometimes can lead to congestive heart failure. Fortunately, that hasn't happened…yet."_

"_So what was it that made her pass out?"_

"_We believe it was an arrhythmia, another side effect of her condition."_

"_How…" I was so shocked I couldn't even manage to get a question out. "How did this happen? How did she get this?"_

"_We don't really know, unfortunately, which is true of most cases like Brooke's. This is the most common form of cardiomyopathy, but it also can't be attributed to a specific cause. Sometimes it's from genetics and other times it's from something else, but in Brooke's case…there's no way to know."_

"_Is she going to be okay?" Rachel was as worried as I was._

_The doctor hesitated, "I don't know. With this condition, blood clots can form more easily because blood flows more slowly through an enlarged heart. And if one of those clots breaks off into the right ventricle, or the pumping chamber, it could cause a pulmonary embolism."_

"_Oh my god…" Rachel gasped and started to cry again._

"_Is there anything that can be done for her to help her get better?" I asked hopefully, though my eyes were watering like Rachel's._

"_Well…" the doctor sighed. "We're hoping that she'll be well enough to go home in a few days, with some medication to prevent another attack like tonights. But her name has been added to the transplant list because she is going to need a heart transplant soon, especially if her condition gets any worse."_

She did get well enough to come home later that week. But unfortunately, her condition began to worsen shortly thereafter. It was devastating to Brooke to learn about her condition and even more devastating to Chase. After the devastation, fear settled in as we waited, hoped and prayed that Brooke would get her new heart soon.

But she never got her new heart. She grew weaker and weaker every day she had to wait. She held on as long as she could for her daughter, for herself and for us. She held on for six months…but her body just couldn't stand waiting anymore.

**a/n: sorry it took so long for this guys...i've been busy with school as always. hope you liked it. let me know with a review and i'll do my best to get you an update soon**


	3. LUCAS

**a/n: i almost posted the same chapter twice LOL this is the right chapter, though. sorry it took so long to get it up. i hope you enjoy. don't forget to review!!**

**_LUCAS _**

_Brooke's gone…_I still can't fathom that. _How can it be true?_

I've been laying here for hours thinking about it and about her. It's so unreal…knowing I will never see her again after I see her in that casket today, if there is even an open casket. It could just be a memorial. I don't know a thing about the funeral other than it's today and that it's for Brooke. I can't stop thinking about her…I can't stop remembering her…I can't stop thinking about my last conversation with her…

We were in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting with Haley to hear that Nathan was okay after he had jumped into the river to save his uncle and Rachel after the limo Rachel stole plunged into it. Brooke met us at the hospital and we had both been there for a while with Haley, waiting to see if Nathan would be okay. But for as long as we had been there, we hadn't spoken a word to each other, or rather, Brooke hadn't spoken a word to me.

But I needed to talk to her. I was worried about her too after the argument we'd had at the reception and I couldn't take her silence anymore…

"_Brooke, we need to talk." I said, sitting down next to her on the couch._

"_Not now Lucas." She said, still not looking at me._

"_Please Brooke," I pleaded and I placed my hand on hers._

_She finally looked at me and she nodded. We both left the couch and the waiting room to take a walk down the hallway, but we didn't stray too far. _

"_What do you want to talk about?" Brooke asked as she crossed her arms. _

"_Us." I said and I stopped walking. Brooke stopped walking too and she stood in front of me. _

"_I love you…so much, Brooke." I said, taking her hand in mine. "I need you to know that I really, really love you."_

"_I know you do, Luke. But how do you love me?"_

"_What?"_

_Brooked sighed and she looked away for a moment. And when she looked back at me, there were tears in her eyes._

"_We don't talk, Lucas." She began. "Not about anything real or meaningful. We make out and we cuddle and we hold hands, but we never really talk to each other. And that's not love Lucas, at least not the kind of love that I want, the kind of love that I need."_

"_Brooke…" I tried to stop her from going on. I tried to say something to convince her of my true love for her. But she went on before I could."_

"_I need you to open up to me like I open up to you. I need you to miss me when I'm not with you. But you don't."_

"_I do, Brooke. You know I do."_

"_No…I don't know because you don't show me. You didn't call me Lucas…you were gone for a week and you didn't call me…not once. To me, that meant you really weren't missing me."_

"_But I did, Brooke, I did miss you. And I do love you. I'll try harder to prove that to you. I'll—_

"_But that's my point, Lucas. You shouldn't have to try…I don't have to."_

And she walked away from me and back to the waiting room. And after Nathan woke up, she left the hospital. I didn't want us to end like she ended us. So I went looking for her at Peyton's later to try to work things out with her, but she wasn't there. She'd gone and not left one thing behind but me.

It devastated me, her disappearing like she did. She didn't say goodbye or leave a note. Not for Peyton either. That devastated Peyton too. They'd had a fight, but Peyton didn't want her to go. Neither of us thought she would ever leave us without a goodbye, no matter how mad she was at us.

I never got over her…never in all these years. I have to be honest with myself; even as I lie in this bed next to Peyton…I never stopped loving Brooke Davis.


	4. HALEY

**_HALEY _**

I'm staring at myself in the mirror of the hotel bathroom, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. My hair looks like crap and my make up looks even worse because my mascara keeps running because I can't stop crying. I'm crying because I miss her. I'm crying because I can't forget about my guilt over not telling Lucas sooner about that day when I last saw her.

Nathan was away doing his basketball thing, so I went to visit Taylor in New York …

"_So my troubled big sister is getting married. Who'd a thunk it?"_

"_Ha, ha," Taylor replied, throwing a couch pillow at me. "You're funny."_

"_I'm just kidding." I chuckled. "I'm happy for you, Tay…a little surprised, but I'm happy for you. Adam seems like a great guy."_

"_Thanks, he is. I'm happy for you two, little sis. How's Nathan?"_

"_Nathan is great. He's doing very well in school and with basketball and we are very happy."_

"_You must be to be crazy enough to be having a baby before you're even old enough to drink."_

_I smiled and rubbed my pregnant stomach as I said, "Yeah, well, we weren't planning this, but we're okay with it. We're even happy about it."_

"_Good. You deserve to be happy."_

"_Thanks, Tay."_

We talked for a little while longer before we had to leave to meet Adam and his parents for lunch. Taylor invited me to go along so I could meet Adam's parents, so I accepted the invitation. That is, until we ran into Brooke as we were leaving.

Taylor and I were laughing at something Taylor had just said as we were coming out of the elevator on the ground floor of Taylor's apartment building. But I stopped smiling when I saw Brooke standing there, waiting for an elevator.

"_Oh my god, Brooke," I said when my jaw dropped._

_She looked as surprised to see me as I was to see her as she said, "Haley…what are you doing here?"_

"_Visiting my sister, but what about you?" I was so shocked I didn't know which question to ask first. "What are you doing here? Where have you been for the past two years?"_

"_I live here." She replied. She sounded and looked so nervous, like she wanted to get away from me as fast as she could. But I wasn't about to let her go without some answers. So I told Taylor to go on to her lunch without me and I asked Brooke to please have lunch with me and after I begged her enough, she agreed._

"_I can't believe you've been here in New York all this time." I said, sitting across the table from her at an outside restaurant._

"_Yep…this is where I've been."_

"_Why, though?" I couldn't stand it anymore while she was right there in front of me. I had to know why. "Why'd you leave Tree Hill, Brooke? And why didn't you say goodbye to any of us, or at least leave a note?"_

"_It's a long story." She was really trying any way she could to avoid my questions. I didn't understand why though. What was she so afraid I would find out?_

"_I'm not going anywhere." I said, trying to convince her to tell me. _

_Finally, she gave in._

"_I left because I couldn't stand hurting anymore, Haley. Peyton told me she had feelings for Lucas and Lucas told me about their kiss in the library the day of the school shooting. Lucas told me it meant nothing, but I know it did and that broke my heart…again. I couldn't go through all that pain from them a second time. So I left so I could be alone and get over him. And I didn't tell anyone because I figured it easier that way."_

"_Oh, but Brooke, you shouldn't have left. Lucas does not love Peyton, he—_

"_I know they're together, Haley." Brooke said sadly. "I came back to Tree Hill a few months later and I saw them together…and I saw that Peyton was pregnant and that's how I knew."_

"_No, Brooke, it's not like that with them. They were never together. Peyton had Jake's baby, not Lucas's."_

_But Brooke still didn't seem to want to believe me, I could tell by her expression that she was thinking about it all, but she shook her head and said, "You know, it's all way too complicated and it really doesn't even matter anymore because this is my home now…this is my life."_

"_Brooke…"_

"_I'm sorry, Hales." Brooke said as she stood up. "But there's somewhere that I have to be, but it was good seeing you again…it really has. I've missed you."_

"_Yeah…me too."_

_She started to walk away but came back to ask me to do something for her that I now wish I had never agreed to do._

"_Haley, I need to ask you to do something for me that I know you're not going to like."_

"_What?"_

_Brooke hesitated, "I need you to please not tell Lucas that talked or even that you ran into me."_

_I stared at her with complete and utter shock. She wanted me to lie to my best friend. How could I do that?_

"_I know this is an incredibly large favor, to ask you to lie to your best friend, but I really, really don't want him to know where I am. I'm finally getting over everything that happened between us and I don't want him or anyone else to come looking for me and bring back all those memories. I really need you to do me this favor, Haley. As hard as it may be, just please…don't tell anyone about this and just pretend like you never even saw me. Please…will you do that for me?"_

_I didn't want to, because I knew I'd be lying and hurting one friend to help another. But I also didn't want to bring back any of that high school drama for either one of them because I knew Lucas was finally getting to be happy again and Brooke said she was too. So reluctantly…I agreed._

"Damn it!" I still can't get the make up right. "I can't get anything right today."

"What's wrong?" Nathan enters the doorway of the bathroom, dressed nicely in dark clothing and ready for the funeral.

"I smeared my make up again." I answer through a sniffle. "I finally stopped crying long enough to get it on and now I've messed it up."

Nathan steps inside the bathroom and begins massaging my shoulders as he asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head and say, "If I talk anymore about any of it, I'm just going to cry again."

But apparently just thinking about it brings the same tears.

"Brooke's dead and my best friend won't even speak to me he's so mad at me. And he's just going to be even angrier after today."

"Why?"

"Because I still haven't told him everything. He was so pissed at finding out that I saw and talked to Brooke during my trip to New York, that I never had the chance to tell him everything Mouth told me when he called."

"Well, what else is it that he said? Something else about her funeral or about her death?"

I shake my head.

"It's something really important, something that's going to come out today whether I tell him or not, but it'll be easier for him to deal with if he knows ahead of time."

"What is it?"

I stare at him and finally I reveal this secret I've been carrying around the last few days.

"He has a daughter."


	5. PEYTON

**_PEYTON _**

The world is silent now. With Brooke gone, it's like all the hope I had is gone too, or at least the hope I had that Brooke and I might've been friends again. For the past twelve years, I've been holding out hope that Brooke and I would see each other again and that she would finally forgive me. But that can never happen now…because Brooke, the best friend I ever had, is dead. And now the last memory I have of her is of our last conversation, which was not a very positive one.

I left Nathan and Haley's wedding reception shortly after they left for their honeymoon. I went upstairs to my bedroom and I stopped and stared when I saw Brooke standing at the end of the bed, packing a suitcase…

"_Brooke…" I said, ready to cry again. "Don't go…please."_

"_I don't want to, but I have to." Brooke replied as she put more clothing into her suitcase._

_I went over to her to try and stop her._

"_Stop okay…look, what do I have to do to fix this? Brooke, I'll do anything. You're my best friend…I don't want you to go."_

"_You're best friend?" She stopped and finally looked at me. "I'm finding that really hard to believe right now, being that you've fallen for my boyfriend…again."_

"_I'm sorry, Brooke." I said, starting to cry again. "I'm not going to act on my feelings, I told you that. I didn't want to fall for him again, but I couldn't help it. You can't help who you love, you can't choose."_

"_Yeah…tell me about it," Brooke said quietly, her eyes glistened. She turned away from me and began zipping her suitcase. "You know, you asked me earlier today if I love Lucas and I have your answer…"_

_Brooke looked back at me again and stared me straight in the eyes as she finished, "But you don't deserve to hear it."_

"_Brooke…" I wanted her to understand that I cared more about her friendship than I did my feelings for Lucas. I wanted her to forgive me, but she wouldn't._

"_No." She interrupted me. "I want you to understand something. As far as I'm concerned, this friendship is over. And if we never speak again for the rest of our lives, that'll be just fine."_

_She picked up her suitcase and walked to the door. I turned and watched. Brooke stopped and turned around in the doorway and said, "I gave you a second chance, Peyton…and you blew it."_

And then I watched as my best friend walked out of my life. I never saw her again. After she left my house, I thought she'd go to stay with Lucas, but Lucas came by later looking for her. And when no one could find her anywhere, we knew she'd left Tree Hill. And we both had hoped that she would return, but she never did.

But even after she was gone, I still believed in our friendship. I still believed that someday she would forgive me and that she would come back. I held on to those beliefs for a long time, especially for the following weeks and months after I found out I was pregnant with Jake's baby. Believing that she would come back and that she would forgive me was what was what got me through the toughest times in my life. But she never came back. I never saw her or heard from her again…and now I never will.


	6. NATHAN

**_NATHAN _**

I knock on the door and Peyton answers.

"Hey Nate," she says. "How're you doing?"

"Better than Haley," I reply. "How about you?"

Peyton nods her head, trying to tell me she's okay, but I know better. I know she's not really okay. Brooke was her best friend and their friendship ended badly. She and Lucas are having a harder time with this than any of us, considering how close they once were to Brooke. They and Haley were closer to Brooke than I ever was.

I step up to Peyton to hug her, hoping it will giver her some comfort.

"It'll be okay." I say as she hugs me back.

"Yeah…I hope so." She says when she pulls away.

"Look, I, um…I need to talk to Lucas. Is he still up here?"

"Yeah, he's in the bathroom getting dressed. Come on in."

I enter their room and close the door as Peyton knocks on the closed bathroom door.

"Hey Luke," she says. "Nathan's here."

"I'll be out in a minute." Lucas replies from behind the door.

I sit down on the bed while Peyton puts earrings in at the mirror.

"So how are you feeling?" I ask, trying to ignite a conversation while I wait for Lucas.

"Like crap." Peyton sighs and she turns and faces me. "Being pregnant sucks."

"I guess this stress doesn't help too much, does it?"

"It makes it all worse."

The bathroom door opens and Lucas comes out ready for the funeral.

"Hey Luke," I say as I stand up. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." He replies, passing Peyton and me to leave his clothes on his suitcase. He's been distant like that with all of us since learning about Brooke's death.

"Look Luke," I start with a sigh. "I know you're hurting and still really pissed of right now, but you need to go talk to Haley before the funeral."

"No." Lucas says at once, glaring at me. "She does not care about me or my feelings, so why should I go talk to her?"

"Because she does care about you, Luke." I argue in Haley's defense. "That's why she didn't tell you. But she's missing Brooke too and hurting just as much as you are. And you need to go talk to her right now because you never gave her the chance to finish telling you everything she needed to tell you."

"Oh, what else could there possibly be?"

I hesitate. Haley said she needed to be the one to tell him, but maybe if I say something to him now, it'll be easier for her to explain. So I sigh and I tell him.

"Brooke…had a baby Luke…your baby eleven years ago."


	7. LUCAS 2

**_LUCAS _**

"Brooke…had a baby, Luke…your baby, eleven years ago."

"What?" I am completely shocked. I can't believe what I'm hearing. "What do you mean? How could she? I mean, why wouldn't she…"

None of this makes sense. How could Brooke have had my baby and me not know it?

"Haley didn't find out until a few days ago."

Nathan is talking again, but I'm still trying to figure all this out. Eleven years ago…how is that possible? I mean, I haven't even seen her for almost twelve years…oh man, I remember now…she lied to me.

_I walked up to Brooke at the reception just as Mouth was leaving the DJ stand. I leaned against the stand as I said to Brooke, "So I guess we never finished that conversation?"_

_She stepped in front of me, held out her hand and said, "Dance with me?"_

_I took her hand and walked with her to the middle of the dance floor. It was just us dancing and I held her close to me and it felt so good. She was such a comfort to me. Nothing else mattered when it was just us together._

_Then, as we were dancing to "Boston" by Augustana, she looked up at me and asked, "Didn't you miss me while you were away?"_

"_Everyday," I answered. Of course I missed her when I was away. I always missed her when I wasn't with her. "I was just angry and upset about Keith and I needed to be alone, but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you, Brooke…because I did."_

_She stared at me and said, "I needed to hear your voice. There's just so much going on with me…"_

"_What kind of stuff?"_

_But she didn't answer me. Instead, she kissed me and then we went on dancing. And we were quiet for a few minutes in the comfort of each other's arms, until I remembered what I had come back out to talk to her about._

_I stopped dancing and said, "Brooke…"_

_She stopped too and looked up at me and I finished, "Are you pregnant?"_

_She just stared at me. She didn't say anything, so I went on._

"_I was straightening up in the back for Haley and I found your purse. I knew you were looking for it, so I picked it up and then a pregnancy test fell out."_

_She took a step back from me and suddenly got serious as she said, "All the bridesmaids have the same purse Lucas."_

_I could tell she was trying to avert my gaze, so I touched her face and made her look straight at me and I said, "Yeah, but I know that purse was yours because your perfume fell out too."_

_She continued to stare at me and I asked her again, "Are you pregnant?"_

_And finally, she answered my question, "No, Luke…I'm not pregnant. I thought I was, but I'm not."_

"She lied to me."

I can't believe she lied to me. I asked her, twice, straight out if she was pregnant, and she lied to me. But why? I don't understand why she didn't' tell me. I would've been there for her…always.

"Luke," Nathan speaks to me again and I look at him, but I don't know what to say. This is all too much and I don't know what to do with it. I need some answers.

I glance at Peyton. She's leaning against the counter, crying. She's as shocked as I am to be hearing this. I look back at Nathan. He's still staring at me…waiting for my response.

"Where's Haley?" I finally speak.

"She's next door," Nathan answers, "praying you'll go over and talk to her. She misses you, Luke, and she needs you to talk to her."

Maybe he's right…maybe it's time I finally go talk to Haley.


	8. HALEY 2

_**HALEY**_

I'm looking through my photo album again, trying to decide which picture I want to leave with Brooke when they bury her today. I brought the whole album with me because I couldn't decide which picture. I still can't decide. There are so many good photos of her.

I can't choose between the photos her, Peyton and me at the senior Classic, and the one of us at mine and Nathan's wedding. Or should I choose a picture of her and Lucas together? All the photos of them together are beautiful. Damn…this is too hard. How am I supposed to decide? This is too soon. I never thought I'd have to prepare for a friend's funeral so soon. It's not fair.

Well, I guess I'll decide later because someone is knocking at the door. I leave the album open on the bed and stand up in my black dress to go open the door.

"Lucas," I say when I see my best friend standing there in the hallway. He looks so sad as he stares at me.

"Hi," he says. "I think I'm ready to talk."

"I sigh relief and say, "Okay…c'mon in."

He steps inside and closes the door. I quickly close the photo album on the bed before he can see it. Then, he walks over and sits down next to it. I stand across from him and in front of the desk against the wall of the room. We are both quiet, I think because neither of us knows what to say. I am waiting for him to say something so that I know what to say and where to begin explaining everything. Finally, he looks up at me and speaks.

"So…Brooke had a baby?"

I stare at him for a few seconds before I nod and say, "Yeah, she um…she had a little girl…_your _little girl."

I wait for him to respond, but he seems to just want to listen for now. So I continue.

"Her name is Chasedy, but Mouth said they call her Chase for short."

He still says nothing. I hope he's not getting angrier with me now that he knows all this. I really can't stand him being angry with me and not talking to me anymore.

"Luke, you need to know that I've only known about her for a few days. When Mouth called and told me about Brooke, that's when he told me about Chase. I swear, I never knew about her until then, not even when I saw Brooke the last time I was in New York. But if I had, you know I would've told you."

"Really?" Lucas finally says something. "Would you really have told me? Because you didn't seem to mind not telling me about your visit with Brooke when you were here."

"Of course I would've told you, Lucas." I'm surprised and angry that he doesn't know me better than that. "Had I known or learned that Brooke had had a baby back then, I definitely would have told you. But she didn't say anything to me about it, and now that she's gone and I'm thinking about that day over and over again, Chase is probably what she was trying so hard to avoid telling me about because she seemed so afraid to keep talking to me. Nine years ago, when I _bumped_ into her, the way she acted, it was like she wanted to get as far away from me as fast as she could so I wouldn't figure it out. It was like she was so afraid that you were going to walk around the corner or something. And then she begged me not to tell you or anyone in Tree Hill where she was because she was finally moving on and getting over you and everything that had happened between you, here and Peyton. And I knew then that you were finally, or at least trying to get over her too."

I pause to catch my breath. And we are staring at each other…he's waiting for me to go on.

"You were so heartbroken for such a long time after Brooke left, and you still were when I saw her. And I didn't want you to hurt anymore, either of you, and you would've felt that heartbreak all over again had I told you. You and Peyton were both still hurting back then, but I knew you both were finally getting over everything…together, becoming close friends again after you both lost your best friend. I didn't want any of you to start hurting again. I was trying to spare your feelings, Luke. But now I wish I had told you because maybe you wouldn't be hurting this much."

"No," Lucas says, shaking his head. "I'd still be hurting this much. I mean it's Brooke…you know?"

I nod as I sit down next to him on the bed and I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. She was a good friend and a wonderful person."

Lucas nods and says, "I would've been there for her. If she would've just let me…I would've been there for her."

"I know," I say as I rub his back. His eyes are wet with tears and his lips are trembling.

"I miss her," he cries. "I miss her so much."

He lays his head on my shoulder as he cries and I hug him close. This is the Lucas I've needed…my best friend who talks to me and confides in me…and leans on my shoulder to cry when he needs to. And this time…we both need to.

**A/N: i got a few chapters up to keep you guys going until i can write more. plus, now the story is all caught up here to where it is at the other site i post it. hope you liked what youread and please, please review!!!! i love to know what you think!!!**


	9. WENDSDAY JUNE 27 2017 2:30 pm

**_WENDSDAYJUNE 27TH 20172:30 p.m._**

_The services have been going on for about half an hour now. Not many people have shown up yet. Well, my grandparents have. They hugged me and kissed me and told me how sorry they are. I'm so tired of hearing people say how sorry they are. It doesn't help make me feel better…it's not going to bring mom back._

_I haven't been able to go into that show room yet. 'Show room'…like we're seeing a movie or something. They should think of another name for it. I guess the name doesn't really matter. It's just a place for us relatives and friends of the deceased to say our final goodbyes. But I still can't bring myself to do that again…say again._

_But…this is my last chance to see her. Her casket will be closed after today and then she will be cremated. And I think maybe I should go say goodbye now…before mom's old friends, including my father, all of whom I've never met, show up._

_**Chasedy Faith Davis-Scott**_

I don't feel like doing anything but write right now. It lets me escape the world and situations around me, which is exactly what I want to do. I don't feel like being around anyone. That's why I'm sitting back here in the quiet room, away from the soft chatter going on in the show room.

I like staring out the window back here too. It's sunny out today, though it doesn't seem appropriate. There's a beautiful garden right outside too with all sorts of wonderful, colorful flowers. Mom loved flowers. I have to turn away from the window. It's bringing back memories of mom, like the time when I was four and we started our own flower garden on the roof of our apartment building…

"_Mommy," I said, holding her hand as we stepped onto the roof. "What are we doing up here?"_

"_We, my precious angel," she replied as she knelt in front of me, "are going to make our own little flower garden up here."_

"_How are we going to do that?" I wondered as I looked around the concrete roof. "There's no grass."_

"_Well, I know that. So I thought we would plant the flowers in flowerpots and then arrange the flowers to make pretty designs to decorate this boring roof. It'll take us a while, but it'll be something you and I can do together…just Chase and mommy."_

"_Just me and you?" I repeated with a smile. I loved doing things like that with her._

_Mom smiled back at me, chuckled and said, "Yep…it'll be our special project."_

"_I love you, Mommy."_

"_I love you too, baby girl."_

_And I hugged her._

I wipe the tears from my cheeks as Uncle Mouth enters the room.

"Hey," he says as he walks over and sits down next to me. "How're you doing?"

"I need my mom," I whisper to him. "I've never been without her before."

"I know. I know this is really hard for you and I wish you didn't have to go through any of this. Do you want a hug?"

I gave him a tiny crack of a smile before I hug him. It's really nice having him around. He makes me feel a little better when I cry like this. I don't know what I'm going to do without him when I have to leave New York to live with total strangers in North Carolina.

We pull out of the hug when we hear aunt Rachel and Molly walk over to us.

"How're you doing, sweetie?" Aunt Rachel asks.

"As well as can be expected, I guess."

Uncle Mouth stands up to hug Rachel as Molly sits down next to me and says, "Hi Chase."

"Hi, Molly." I return the smile. She is so adorable with her big green eyes, button nose and short red hair…I can't help but smile when I see her. She cheers me up too.

"You look very pretty in that dress," I say. "Is that the one my mom got you for your birthday?"

"Uh, huh…I wanted to wear it for her." She pauses for a minute, like she is deciding what is the right thing to say next. She's only nine, so I understand.

"I'm sorry about your mommy, Chase." She finally says and I hug her. She's a good friend too, like a little sister even.

When we're done, I look back up at Mouth and I ask, "Are they here yet?"

He knows who I'm referring to because he shakes his head and says, "Not yet, but they'll be here. I'll let you know, don't worry."

But I'm not worried. I'm just not ready.

Okay…I've finally made it to the showroom. Wow…there is a lot of people here now. I'm not surprised though…everybody loved mom. All their eyes are fixed on me with each step I take, then, I stop when I see it…her open casket.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Uncle Mouth asks me.

I shake my head and say, "No, I can go alone…I need to go alone."

"Go ahead then, sweetie," Rachel says. "We'll be here if you need us."

I look ahead and stare at that casket a moment longer from where I'm standing. Then, I begin walking toward it again. And I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks again as I finally reach it.

Her face looks much paler than it was the last time I saw her. But now her face is all made up with lipstick, eye shadow and blush. She doesn't look like herself…they put too much on her. And this casket…it's too small…she needs more room. I can't take it anymore…I need to help her, someone needs to help her.

"Help," I say loudly as I continue crying. "Someone help her, she needs help. There's no room for her in there…she needs her bed. And her make up…it's all wrong…she hates that color. And this isn't her home; she wants to be at home. Please—"

"Chase! Chase!" Uncle Mouth pulls me away from the casket and turns me around as I'm struggling to get away from him and back to her.

"Uncle Mouth…she needs our help…she wants to be at home, remember?"

"No, honey," Mouth says, making me face him again as everyone else in the room watches me panic.

"She's gone, Chase…she's gone. But she'll be okay now because she's not sick anymore."

I shake my head. He's wrong.

"No," I say, pulling away from him finally. "She won't be okay because she's not here."

I can't be here anymore right now. I just want to run and hide, so I do.

**a/n: FINALLY!!!! i got you guys an update. i hope you enjoy it. sorry it took so long...i've been busy**


	10. MOUTH

_**MOUTH**_

I stand up as Chase runs out of the room in tears. Rachel and Molly walk over to me.

"What's the matter with Chase, Daddy?" Molly asks me.

"She's sad, honey…really sad."

"Do you want me to go talk to her?" Rachel offers.

"Thanks," I reply through a sigh. "But I think I'd better. I promised Brooke I'd make sure she's okay."

"Okay, but I'm here too if you need me."

"Thanks." I kiss her cheek and before I walk away I ask, "Hey, can you keep an eye out for Haley and Lucas and let me know when they get here?"

"Of course."

I keep walking in search of Chase. I walk all the way to the front room again…and there she is, crying on the couch by the window again.

"Chase," I say as I walk over to her.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," she says with her face in a pillow.

"I know," I sigh as I sit down next to her. "But you have to. That's the only way you're going to get through this."

"But I don't want to get through this," Chase says as she sits up and looks at me. "I just want mom back. It's too hard without her. I don't know what to do without her. I don't know how to live without her."

"I know, but the best thing you can do is just remember her and everything she taught you. And Rachel and I will be here for you too."

"No you won't, not really. You guys are going to be here in New York and I'm going to be all the way in North Carolina, not that I want it that way."

She's right…we are going to be away from her. But that doesn't mean I won't visit her. In fact, I'll be visiting her often in Tree Hill while she adjusts.

"Yeah, I know," I reply. "But you can still call us when you need to and we'll come visit you."

"Will I be able to come back here and visit?"

"Eventually…yes. Your dad, Lucas is a really good guy and I'm sure he'll be okay with you coming back to visit after you've spent some time in Tree Hill and have gotten to know your family there."

"But I don't want to get to know any family in Tree Hill. Mom is my family…and you and Rachel and Molly. I don't need anyone else."

"Yes you do. You need your father."

"No, I don't. I've lived without him for eleven years, so why do I need him now?"

"Because it's what your mom wanted for you, remember?"


	11. CHASE

_**CHASE**_

"Because it's what your mom wanted for you, remember?"

Yeah…I remember. Mom and me…we talked about my father and about me going to live with him…right before she died.

_I sat at her bedside while she lay there…dying. I was quiet for a while because I didn't know what to say. I was scared, sad and lonely already. I wasn't ready for her to die, and I wasn't ready to live without her. I didn't know what was going to happen to me._

"_Honey," Mom spoke to me. Her voice was so weak and raspy, but she went on, "you should be sleeping."_

_I shook my head and said, "No, I'm not tired. I just want to sit with you, Mom."_

"_Okay," she took a few raspier, deep breaths._

"_Mom, are you okay?"_

_She nodded and said, "Yeah…it's just a little hard to breathe."_

"_Do you need something?"_

"_No…I'm okay. I'll be okay. I don't need anything anymore…just you."_

_She slipped her hand into mine and that's when I began to cry._

"_Mom…I'm not ready for you to go. I need you. Please…don't leave me."_

"_Shh…" she reached up and put her hand on my cheek. "It's going to be okay…you're going to be okay."_

"_No, I'm not. I'll be all alone without you…you're my best friend."_

"_I know, but you've got to be strong. You promised me, remember? You're going to be strong and not dwell on this?"_

_I nodded my head and then I asked, "But what's going to happen to me?"_

"_You're going to be okay. You're going to be with your father in North Carolina. I've told you about him. You'll like it in Tree Hill."_

"_No, I won't. I like it here in New York with you and uncle Mouth, aunt Rachel and Molly. I don't want to leave. I don't want to go with my father. I don't care about him. I've never even met him, I don't know him."_

"_You will. You will get to know him."_

"_But I don't want to. Why can't I just stay here and live with uncle Mouth?"_

"_Because your father deserves the chance to know you. He would've been there for you had he known about you. I never told him about you. It's my fault that you never got to know him. So please don't be angry with him. He is going to love you when he meets you. And he will love you and care for you just as much as I do. So please…just give him and Tree Hill a chance. Being with him and being in Tree Hill…it was my favorite place in the world. I promise…you will be happy there. Now, can you promise to give it a chance…for me?"_

_I nodded again and said, "I promise, Mom. But I'll never be as happy there as I am with you. And I'll never love him as much as I love you."_

"_Yes you will." Mom still argued with, as weak as she was. "I want you to. Give it some time, Chase…get to know him and his family and his friends. They were all my friends once too. Please…do it for me."_

_I nodded once again and said, "Okay."_

"_That's my girl. I love you, my beautiful, Chasedy Faith Davis-Scott."_

"_I love you too, Mom."_

_And a few hours later…she was gone._

"I promised her to give it a chance," I say and I look at uncle Mouth. "It's what she wants for me…and for my father."

Uncle Mouth nods and says, "That's right. And she made a good decision in deciding that. Your father is a wonderful guy. He was my best friend and I couldn't have gotten through high school without him. He'll take good care of you…I promise."

"Mom said that too."

I promised her I'd give him a chance, so I guess that's just what I'm going to have to do.

**a/n: hope that didn't suck too much guys. ive been working really hard on this and Dan's Return, so that's why it has taken me so long. please let me know what you think.**


	12. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Everyone….i feel really bad to be doing this to you, but I have temporarily stopped working on this story. I still really love this story line and I want to get back to it and finish it eventually, but right now I need to stop so that I can focus on other things. I think I took on too much when I started this story on top of two others, so I want to stop fro now until I finish the ones I started first; this way, once the others are fisnihed, I will be able to return to this story and give it the full undivided attention it deserves. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed….i really appreciate everyone who does and I hope you will rtead when I do rreturn to this story. But, if you are still interested in reading something else by me and you haven't read yet, please check out my current story, One Tree Hill Memories: Dan's Return ( posted as Dan's Return: Sequell to Finding a Way Back) Again, thank you.

** Maureen **


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